Amongst all the darkness and the grey, is always a light. Amongst the sunshine and the beige, is always a shadow. Amongst the evil people in this world, there are always kind ones. Amongst the kind ones in this world, are those that do it for “wrong” reasons.

I am very happy to claim, that where I live, there are many people who are very kind. This is a wonderful kind of feeling, walking down the street and being able to see people smile at you — you don’t know them, they don’t know you; you’re white, they’re black; you’re old, they’re young, and none of it matters. It is a great feeling when a stranger does something kind for you, something that you don’t at all expect — even if it is something as small as a smile on the street. Why do people do these things?

1) First of all, I enjoy thinking that a lot of people desire to be kind for the sake of making others happy. For example, perhaps one has a close family member or spouse, and one loves this person. This person is kind and supportive, and goes out of their way to make sure that one is happy, sane, and loved. In turn, most people like the person in this position, and like to do nice things for them. Perhaps one is so very happy with their spouse that they would spontaneously buy them flowers…

2) Secondly, it is often recited that giving is better than receiving. This is (allegedly) because the act of kindness that one bestows upon another living being stirs within the soul a certain “good feeling” (like when you get a hair cut that’s just right, or when your bed feels extra cozy on the present day). This “warm and fuzzy” kind of feeling is often enough incentive for one to buy flowers for one’s spouse.

3) Then, there is religion. Most religions, possibly out of the realization that they have a lot of power over the conduct of a person, seem to set a number of positive guidelines about how one should live one’s life. For example, The Bible suggests that one does not steal, does not desire the neighbour’s wife, and does give away 10% of one’s income. These things aren’t necessarily in one’s best interest, but they sure make the world a better place, don’t they?

Also, there are people that do good things, but for a more self-centred reason. (Rather than doing them for the sake of another, they do them for their own sake.)

4) Many people believe, either out of reading or out of observation, that bad things usually happen to bad people, and that good things happen to good people. Therefore, if one is a kind person, kindness will be done to them in turn. Some view it as the spiritual — karma; others view it as the literal — people owing one a favour for past kindnesses. For some, this is the incentive for going good deeds — not because it means that they feel good, nor out of a specific liking of another, but out of wanting for good things to happen to themselves.

5) Along the same thought, a lot of people will desire to use karma to gain a different advantage: safety. Safety embodies not only personal, physical safety, but also security of one’s job, family, happiness, etc.. This is again (see point 4), stemmed from the belief that what one does to another will be their own fate. Therefore, if one is a good person, and does good to others through acts of kindness, then that person will nearly insure that their own self will be protected and only good will be done to them.

6) And then there are social reasons. Some people are afraid that if they are not good to others, then they themselves will be disliked. This means having few friends, and being lonely. I haven’t met anyone who really desires to be lonely, but I’m sure there are a few somewhere — this is a pretty good way to obtain that — be a jerk to everyone. Another social reason would be obligation. Since people are somewhat good to one, one feels obligated to “return the favour.” Therefore, the feelings of wanting to do kindness are not really genuine, but are based on debt.

But does the path matter as long as the destination is the greater good? As long as people are good to each other, does it matter if they are doing for a good reason or a bad one? Do you care if the person is giving you a gift out of kindness, or out of fear? Do you think that it should matter, really?

One the one hand, I think that most people are unhappy when someone gives them a gift out of obligation. On the other hand, I think that most people would then turn something that is very pleasant — a gift — into something that very isn’t. On the third, and metaphorical hand, I think that most people worry too much about giving gifts all the time anyways. Isn’t your liking and attention, applied to a person, worth a lot more than a physical object?

Just a thought.

Stub/Summary: “Why Be A Good Person - Liking of People — Desire to Make Them Happy, Good Feeling, Religion, Karma Fear, Hope of Protection, Fear of Not Being Liked — Obligation… and then there are those that really don’t think about it.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 6th, 2006 at 3:23 am and is filed under Human Nature. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.