It has been said: ‘Our lives are filled with more shortcuts, but we have less time’. Most people loathe losing. We often strive ahead and take risks to better ourselves, our careers, even our relationships. Why? Nothing ventured, nothing gained, they say. Or was it: nothing eaten, nothing fattened… One of the two.

“You miss 100% of the shots that you do not take.” and “nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Based on these sayings, it is thought to be great to have an ambitious, competitive character to one’s self. Someone like this doesn’t give up, they don’t stop, and they get to the top. Any hardship is an opportunity to these people. And what does this never-give-up-never-surrender kind of attitude give one? A job as president of a company, a sexy spouse, a well taken care of family, and a huge house. A man like this would say that he was not one to be fearful of living, for living is risky business. If one had done nothing with them selves, then their lives would be a waste, and they would eventually die, having done nothing useful for the human race, and being about as good as a vengeful vegetable.

Well…

Then again, if you don’t take any shots, you technically can’t miss; always competing with everyone annoys anyone; being the president of a company means that you likely don’t have much time; the sexy spouse is likely a trophy; the family is likely taken care of by a maid or babysitter; and the huge house is a huge pain to clean. Also, not everyone ends up a national hero or a man of legends. There are plenty of ordinary people in this world as well, and they are the people that ensure the survival of the race and planet — people who create the food that one eats, people who, in mass, contribute to organizations to help manatees survive (what would we do without them?), and people who spend each day living selflessly on the small scale. These good people are as much of heroes as those that do one great task. Perhaps, rather than being unhappy about what one has not achieved, one should be grateful for what one has, and live in happiness.

Also, perhaps one should say: nothing ventured, nothing lost. Often, one’s life is not so bad. Often, one has a pretty stable income, a good family and home, and one is generally happy. These kinds of people don’t need to risk anything in their lives or try to get a promotion. (This also works with smaller things: if you’re happy with your current TV, why do you need one that is 10 inches bigger?)

What is wrong with not accepting any extra responsibility, and just relaxing in the sun. What is the reward for doing a lot of work? Answer: a lot more work and a sense of accomplishment and self worth. Well, perhaps one should stop selfishly attempting to accomplish something all the time to make themselves feel good, and instead just enjoy their current state of existence.

Or: rather than running in a rat race, perhaps being a better person is the path to feeling accomplished. Rather than striving to succeed in the stock market, give away your money, items, or your most valuable possession — your time — to those that need it. And rather than constantly competing with those around you, accept loss. One does not need to be successful to be respected, happy, and accomplished.

Sir Walter Scott once had written something along the lines of this: ‘While the slave happily sleeps by the master’s fire, the man that fought for his freedom gets up early to find his way into a hard day’s work in the fields.’ The man strove hard to be a good slave until he was freed — and what did it grant him, aside from more work?

Losing is wonderful. A man named Mr. Powers once told me one thing that I won’t forget (amongst several). He told me that I need to fail at something. I had always done fairly well for myself, but he understood, that in order to comprehend some things, you have to feel the powerful strike of loss. The loss takes you from the top seat as a king and rubs your face in the grime that covers the life of a peasant. Then, you understand what it means to be humiliated; and it makes you a stronger being, one which is able to overcome hardships. It also allows you to see past your shortcomings. In the future, then, you understand that losing isn’t everything, and that it is all just part of the the hilly path to the ultimate goal. A failure is an experience that one can learn from. It has been said, “No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” (Samuel Beckett).

There is also an old story about an army that had never lost a battle. Everywhere they went, they only swept away their opposition and put themselves ahead. Everywhere, they were feared. One day, another army of smaller size and lesser training, that had lost several battles, fought against the invincible army. They won. The army that was until now undefeated split up into many pieces as the battle went rapidly downhill for their side. The army then could never come back together despite them having plenty of men remaining — they had never felt the pain of loss before and could not handle it. This created a total defeat out of what might have been only a large loss and a huge positive experience.

A failure is positive, if you look at it in the right light. And if you’re happy, if you’re content, and if you’re loved, then you are already wealthy — leave some happiness for those that are needy. Let them be ambitious and strive headlong into a lot of hard work. You’re already here. Now. Why do you need to do anything more? After all, the humble peasant is often a better person than the richest king.

Summary/Stub: “In Joyous Loss — Fail. Defeat is good. Ambition is not always useful. Be grateful for what you have, rather upset about what you don’t.”

This entry was posted on Monday, July 17th, 2006 at 1:32 am and is filed under Human Nature, Easifying Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.